FAREWELL TO HELENE MURIAL SCHONFIELD née Cohn

Address by Rabbi John Rayner at the Golders Green Crematorium Funeral Service on 15th March, 1979.

The sadness of this moment requires no emphasis. We all feel it poignantly - even those of us who knew Helene Schonfield only slightly or saw her only occasionally. All the deeper is our sympathy for those who were near and dear to her: her daughters, her grandchildren, her sister and, above all, her husband. I say above all not only because he was her constant companion for 52 years, and not only because they had known and loved each other so much longer even than that, ever since a certain picnic in Richmond Park when they were young children, but because of the special quality of their relationship, which was a rare and beautiful combination of mutual affection, tenderness understanding, trust and devotion, and of shared interests, shared ideals, shared joys and shared enthusiasms. Among other things they worked together for such excellent causes as the World Service Trust, of which she became a Founding Trustee in 1956, and World Citizenship, and she always read the manuscripts of his books and made many valuable critical comments on them. After so long and close a partnership, the cessation of it must be for him a wrench of almost unimaginable severity. We know that in order to surmount it and to live on as she would wish, and as I am sure he will, serenely and creatively, he will need to call on all his great reserves of faith and strength. I believe, too, that he will be helped by the support of his family and friends and I hope that the knowledge that his sorrow is shared so sincerely by so many will also help to sustain him during the bleak and lonely periods which lie ahead for him.

But if those who were close to. her are the most grievously bereaved because they have lost her, they are also the most privileged among us because they have shared so much of her life.. And therefore they have especially abundant cause for gratitude. Grief and gratitude are correlatives. It is the same human sensitivity which makes us susceptible to both and if we are honest with ourselves we must admit that we would not wish it to be otherwise.

Therefore let our service here today be not only an expression of sorrow but an act of thanksgiving. We are thankful that she lived as long as she did, for though she seemed so much younger, she was in fact nearly 75; and that her illness, which she bore so bravely for so many years, did not immobilise her until quite recently; and that she died quite suddenly and peacefully, in her own home. We are thankful for her qualities of mind and heart, for she was highly intelligent; she^: took a keen interest in almost everything; she loved art and music; she enjoyed travelling and meeting people; she was a person of great, vitality and indomitable spirit; she was well read and well informed, and, never became old fashioned in her understanding and judgment; she lived fullyand happily. Above all, she lived well, for she hardly ever thought of herself but demoted, herself to the services of others, both individuals and humanity as a whole, from her own family and friends, and a Ghanaean goddaughter, to international organisations.

Of course these are only a few generalisations, and I must leave it to those present to recall in their own minds, from their private memories of her, some of_: the innumerable details which make them valid. But they are, I think, sufficient to remind us all that, in her, unassuming, self-effacing way, she set an example that is worthy of emulation. When C.Day Lewis gave his inaugural lecture as Professor of Poetry at Oxford he said he wished that writers would pay more attention to "what is lovable and admirable in humankind". I think we would all agree that she personified these qualities to high degree.

Let us then resolve to remember her not necessarily every minute of every day, but frequently, with continued appreciation and abiding affection, and with the resolve that her example and influence shall remain with us a permanent source of guidance, enhancement and blessing. And let us pray, too, that in the world beyond time and space the indestructible innermost essence of her being, may endure for ever in perfect peace tachat kanfey ha-sh' chinah, under the wings of God's eternal presence. Amen.